I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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