see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
