I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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