Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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