i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
