I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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