He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
