put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
