No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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