i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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