If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
