Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
