I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
