did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
