The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
