I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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