this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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