it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
