'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
