Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
