That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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