using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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