I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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