no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
