my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
