is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
