Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
