At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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