Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
