I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
