You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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