come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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