Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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