Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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