it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
