I want to stick my p in your. b.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
