Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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