Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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