Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
