He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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