just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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