I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
