Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
