this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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