That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
