Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
