So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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