If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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