He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well you can't waste a boner
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
