I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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